Is it a choice? Is it a curse? Staying single, that is.
But things happen. Single men meet women, and as the basic law of magnetism applies, a certain form of attraction is formed. It could be weak, or it could be strong. Nonetheless, a threat to the existence of single fatherhood.
However, when it’s not meant to be, as they say, it’s not meant to be. No matter how stubborn one can be.
Shit happens. And to me it did.
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Personally, I don’t want it. To be honest, it isn’t necessary.
I am only speaking for myself, of course.
In the same way, that there is no reason for me to celebrate Mother’s Day, I do not really need another occasion to remind me what I know I am – a father.
But some pundits thought that if there is a special day for mothers, it should be fair that fathers be given the same accolade, and so there’s Father’s Day.
Really now, who was fighting for equality?
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Is this familiar? Has this happened to you yet?
If you were never married and has been a single father from the start, this would be a rare occurrence, or if ever, it would be just a joke… a punch line.
But if you were married, and all of a sudden you find yourself alone, it is not impossible that it could happen to you.
More than two years since my wife’s demise, I still forget sometimes that I am already alone.
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So it’s Mother’s Day! Now what?!
Do single fathers celebrate Mother’s Day as well? Being the one who also assumes the role to the mother in the house.
Well… yes and no, I guess.
Yes because, who would your children greet when they do not have their mother around? And it’s not really surprising that other people who realize your situation also greet you a Happy Mother’s Day, right?
But that’s as far as the celebration goes… in greetings only.
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It’s not easy.
Maybe you think that because you have no one to argue with, life would be easier.
Unfortunately, it is not.
With no one to share your thoughts to, to ask opinion from… and yes, even to argue with, you are on your own.
From the trivial things to the biggest concerns — you own everything.
The problem with that is you may not now if you are right or wrong. Perhaps, you might think that it is swell because you will always be right. But just because nobody is there to contradict what you have to say, it does not mean that you right.
Sometimes, you are not even sure of yourself, but you know you need to make a decision. Sometimes, you need to take a risk… because you’re on your own.
And then, you will realize… it’s not nice… owning all the decisions.
While single parents are quite common today, single fathers are still a rarity compared to their female counterparts. The first reason being, it is most common that it is the man who abandons thus leaving the woman on her own (and I’m not exactly proud of it).
The second reason is that, single fathers do not really stay as such for long. For a lot of reason, men could not really live on their own for so long. Yes, we can all blame it on our mothers who used to do everything for us – even finding that missing pair of socks.
Another reason for their rarity in existence is perhaps, not many single fathers would admit that they are such. While not all would really deny their status, some, especially the younger ones would readily do so when they are in front of a woman they seem to have their eye on.
Of course, these are not all the reasons, and neither are they absolute. There could be more, and a much deeper explanation for them. These are just what I could recall at the top of my head right now.
This is my first post for my new blog, and these are what entered my mind. Being a single father for over a year now, being a widower, I wonder there weren’t too many single fathers with whom I can share experiences.
And so this post introduces my new blog, Single Fatherhood, as a take on the life and assume the role of a father and a mother.
This is single parenthood… from a man’s point of view.
