Staying single…
Is it a choice? Is it a curse? Staying single, that is.
But things happen. Single men meet women, and as the basic law of magnetism applies, a certain form of attraction is formed. It could be weak, or it could be strong. Nonetheless, a threat to the existence of single fatherhood.
However, when it’s not meant to be, as they say, it’s not meant to be. No matter how stubborn one can be.
Shit happens. And to me it did.
If I can have my way, I would like to remain what I am until the last of my breath – a single father. But fate doesn’t really allow us to decide for ourselves. It loves to play games, and how.
It played it games on me, turning this once focused, child-centered single father into a totally helpless lovestruck individual. And you think, through age, one would be wiser.
I guess, that’s the a price of being a poet-wannabe. You get too much in-touch with your emotions, and you try to feel that feeling that you haven’t really felt for quite a spell. And who wouldn’t like that feeling of being in love?
And then, shit happened.
I could not even tell how, why or when. It just happened. Putting out a flame, even before it started. But it left blisters… burns… scars… pains.
Yet, life has to go on. Three kids to tend to dictate so.
Last night, I made a post in my facebook status which reads: “it’s just me and the kids… like how it should always be…”
And this morning, I was surprised to see that someone “Liked” my post — my eldest son.
Subtle.
The message came ringing loudly to my ear, however. He need not speak. I know what he means. He is my son, after all.
And as I try to get back in focus… to get back on track, I will think of that “Like” and make a conscious attempt to stick to that statement… and stay single forever.
I know there would be distractions along the way, but I was able to survive before, I can do it again… I need no one. I have my kids, and their love is enough.
Love that bit about your son liking your FB status update. Simple, subtle and sobering? Not that I mean you’re inebriated or something and needs sobering up just because you meet someone you like.
Being with someone you really like doesn’t necessarily mean you’re leaving your kids to the wolves. I know the welfare and happiness of your kids play a major part in your decision making as it should be.
Meeting new people and enjoying their company is not a betrayal of your responsibility as a single parent. Oddly enough, if you can pull that off without being overly burdened with guilt that makes you a better father, too.
An intriguing post, this. We’re not in FB, but I like it, too!
Hi Jan! Like what I said in my tweet, it was a confession of sort
Yup! That plain gesture was a wake up call for me, so to speak. Of course, they would always be top priority. But it will be better if they will be the ONLY priority.
And thanks for liking it
Roy´s last blog ..“Please come back to me”