“We used to have fruits almost everyday”

Those were the words of my daughter, Angel as we were talking about the happy days when their mother was still with us.

And she was right, when my wife was still alive, she would often buy fruits for the kids. To think that the market was really out of her way and going straight home was easier.

Still, she didn’t mind the extra trip just to be able to bring home some fruits.

Unfortunately, it is one thing that I neglect to do.

I do not buy fruits for the kids. While Angel’s words were harmless and not in any way meant to put me down, it dawned upon me that I just cannot replace the love, caring and thoughtfulness that my wife has shown us.

The “fruits on the table” could be just a representation… just a surface… when you scratch it… when you look beyond it… it could also mean that there is really no substitute for a mother’s love.

I could have remembered the fruits, I could have done more.

But I failed… I failed the “fruit” test.

Just when I thought I have prepared myself to combat any intruders and other unwelcome visitors (READ: SUITORS), I overlooked the small details that really means a lot to a growing child… a growing daughter, that is.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s graduation. Of course, I am proud and happy that my daughter is graduating from elementary. She has overcome the first hurdle in her life. And a graduation is one significant moment for her… and she needs to prepare for it, physically.

The problem is, being a single father and as expected, clueless about make-up and other girly stuff, how can she prepare and look beautiful on her graduation when there’s no one around to help her?

There are no other ladies in the house, she’s the only girl and only 13! We tried to contact her cousin but she won’t be available tomorrow.

Parlors? I don’t want to take her there because I don’t want them to touch my daughter’s hair. And based on our experience, parlor workers can be very stubborn. Tell them to cut only a small portion, and expect it to cut some more.

Okay, back to the graduation. What to do now? Don’t have much women friends I can really impose upon on, I mean asked to them to go to this house, help Angel prepare and then leave. Yeah, sounds very ungrateful, I know.

Anyway, like what I told her, she doesn’t need any make up really.

I hope she won’t feel deprived if we weren’t able to work things out tomorrow.

I had another scare as my daughter got sick last weekend, and on the occasion of her birthday even. Was observing her the whole day as she was constantly complaining of pain and irritation. At nighttime, seeing that she won’t be healed by home medication, I took her to the hospital where we were immediately met by medical personnel in scrubs who were running to and fro because of many patients in the emergency room.

Yes, we were at the emergency room as it was already eight in the evening. She was made to lie in one of the bed. While we were there waiting to be attended, we saw some medical personnel wearing white lab coats and going to some of the patients, getting some blood samples from some of the patients there.

When a doctor finally attended to my daughter, she asked some basic questions, like her temperature, how long has she been sick, medications takes, etc. Then she checked on her tonsils, and immediately said, “She has an infected tonsils. We don’t need to test her blood anymore. Her tonsils is what causing her fever. I’ll just give her antibiotic.”

I was relieved and thankful that it was not dengue, a case which has been prevalent lately. While waiting for our prescription and the bill, my daughter who was still in pain asked my if I could buy her one of those  scrub sets because she said they looked comfortable to sleep with. I smiled and said, “Yes, of course. My baby, I will.”

As I was always saying, nothing can really replace the love and caring that a mother can give her children. But with the absence of one, my kids have to make do with what they have — a single father who seems to be clueless, or just gets easily confused when motherly things are on demand.

That’s what happened when my son had a bout with sickness more than two weeks ago.  At first I asked him to take a rest, but later he was asking me if I can take him to the doctor… which is what her mother would have done in the first place – immediately.

So I did. We went to the hospital, and he was admitted. He has difficulty in breathing and the diagnosis was acute asthma. I was dumbfounded because my son never had it, nor shown any symptoms… or was I just not aware? See.

And so we stayed at the hospital. On the second day, my second son was displaying the same symptoms my first son had. Was asking him if he wanted to be taken to the hospital, but he declined. He doesn’t want to be confined, I guess.

So it happened that I was going back and forth – hospital and home – to take a look at how my two sons were doing. I had no choice, it’s just us. It’s a good thing my nine-year old daughter wasn’t sick at the time and was able to stay at the hospital with her brother.

Still, I have to check on him… and then back home to check my second son, who is left alone at the house everytime I go to the hospital.

To cut the story short, they were are both well now, although my eldest son is still under medication.

I know I have been amiss with my fatherly/motherly duties somehow that’s why they got sick, but believe me, I’m trying my best… trying to do everything on my own.

…and that’s how it will always be.

Modesty aside, I used to be a good cook. No, make that a great cook – that was according to my wife.

When she was still with us, and I would be cooking, my dish would always turn out good, if not perfect.. and it was not just my words.

But like what I said, that was when she was still here. Now, I seem to be an alien in the kitchen. I can’t seem to make heads or tails. Really, the kitchen is not my domain.

Easily, I could always ask her before. I would know what to do next, which ingredients to put in, what are the signs that I would be looking for – boiling, smoke, browning, burning… err, how many minutes I mean. Just like having a backseat driver, although it was most welcomed, and much needed.

Sadly, now that she is gone, I can’t seem to remember what to do, how to start, which one to put in first, and what are the ingredients needed in the first place.

Unlike before, everything was already present. All the things that are needed were already at hand, and all I needed to do was just to stretch my muscles and put all the things together.

Of course, I can fry. In fact, this single father has been serving his children fried foods most of the time.  The only soup we’ll have would mostly come from those instant noodles.

I make up for those fried food marathons by taking them out to eat sometimes, so they can eat real foods. But that can be quite expensive, and still, not a good substitute for home cooked meals.

Fortunately for me, my son Ralph knows how to cook. Unlike me, he remembered what his mother taught him, and he isn’t really much afraid taking the risk. He still has a lot to learn though, but definitely he’s far better than his father could ever be in the kitchen.

As for me, I’m still trying to find the resolve to finally take the plunge, because I know I should take charge.

So while, the kitchen is not my domain, for now at least, I definitely will take actions to be a good great cook for my kids… someday… soon… very soon… very, very soon.

So it’s Mother’s Day! Now what?!

Do single fathers celebrate Mother’s Day as well? Being the one who also assumes the role to the mother in the house.

Well… yes and no, I guess.

Yes because, who would your children greet when they do not have their mother around? And it’s not really surprising that other people who realize your situation also greet you a Happy Mother’s Day, right?

But that’s as far as the celebration goes… in greetings only.

Seriously now, have you seen a family, with only a father present going out on Mother’s Day?

And what about promos, discounts and freebies given by shopping malls, restaurants, fast food outlets and department stores during Mother’s Day? Can a father approach the personnel concerned and say:

“Excuse me, I am really a single father. Theoretically, I also play the role of the mother in the house. Can I avail of your promo for this day?”

Expect a wide-eye reaction, at least, for your inquiry.

Actually, I haven’t tried that yet. Maybe I should. I wonder what would be the reaction that I’ll get.

Anyway, while I don’t see the point, I really don’t see anything wrong either. Of a single father celebrating the day with his kids… even if it’s only for the sake of the children.

To all the mothers… and all single fathers included… Happy Mother’s Day!