“We used to have fruits almost everyday”

Those were the words of my daughter, Angel as we were talking about the happy days when their mother was still with us.

And she was right, when my wife was still alive, she would often buy fruits for the kids. To think that the market was really out of her way and going straight home was easier.

Still, she didn’t mind the extra trip just to be able to bring home some fruits.

Unfortunately, it is one thing that I neglect to do.

I do not buy fruits for the kids. While Angel’s words were harmless and not in any way meant to put me down, it dawned upon me that I just cannot replace the love, caring and thoughtfulness that my wife has shown us.

The “fruits on the table” could be just a representation… just a surface… when you scratch it… when you look beyond it… it could also mean that there is really no substitute for a mother’s love.

I could have remembered the fruits, I could have done more.

But I failed… I failed the “fruit” test.

“Why can’t you move on?”

I am puzzled. What does moving on means? When can one say that he can’t move on or he has already moved on? Do I strike you as someone who was not able to move on?

After being exposed on national TV because of my letters to my wife, there are not a few who said that maybe it’s time for me to move on.

Move on?! Again, what does moving on mean?

One fellow told me, “You’re still young, you can remarry. You need to MOVE ON. It doesn’t mean you have forgotten your wife.”

There’s one interpretation of MOVING ON, getting married again. Is that really what “moving on” mean?

One comment that I received says “I don’t think this is what your wife wants you to do. She wants you to MOVE ON, take care of your kids and your future. Stop this foolishness!”

And I take it that the comment meant for me to stop writing my letters and ‘get a life!’ so to speak.

In my 43 years of existence in this planet, I never lived based on anybody else’s standard. And I’m not going to start now. I don’t think their definition of MOVING ON suits my own… and quite frankly “I don’t give a damn” (I always wanted to say that!)

I have a life. I am happy with my kids. Getting married again is not my priority and me going to stop writing my letters is out of the question.

Who would know what my wife wants? You think you know her better than me?

Fortunately for me, there are more supporters than these naysayers. And these people, though I may not reply to them directly, has given me more strength to continue with what I’m doing. People who see beyond skepticism and believe that there could actually be an internet in heaven.

As for those people who insist on their definition of moving on, I’ll say “thank you very much, but by your standards, I’d rather be stagnant!”

(originally posted in my Sugar Coated World blog)

What could they be missing?

Isn’t it obvious?! THE GENUINE LOVE AND WARM CARING OF A MOTHER!

There’s just a need to balance the tough and over-imposing aura that a father provides… the kind of balance that only a mother can bring.

Sadly, my kids missed that balance. Upfront, they look fine as if everything’s normal… but I know deep inside that everything is NOT normal.

Of course, I try my best to fit both shoes – the tough, firm and disciplinarian father and the warm and caring touch of a mother. Trying to bring “balance to the force,” so to speak.

Then again, we all know that it’s just not the same… it will never be the same.

Nothing can bring the balance back.

Because there could only be one mother who can really fill that void… unfortunately, it can never happen. EVER.

The kids are fine. Now.

But somewhere down the road, that imbalance could take its toll. I just hope that when it happens, I have already made good in my dual-role for them not to be shaken too much.

As it is, there nothing much more I can do aside from whining.

As the sayings go… breaks of the game… that’s the way the cookie crumbles… the cards have been dealt and I have play with my hand (yes, pun definitely intended).

“Sir, why are you here?” asked my son’s former classmate who saw me in school one day.

“I will buy books for Edgar,” was my reply and stood behind him on the line to the bookstore.

Lately, I’m becoming a familiar face in my children’s schools – enrolling them, paying their tuition fees, buying them uniforms and books. I’m finding myself doing errands for my kids. Things that they could have done, but I opted to do them myself.

Don’t I trust them with the finances? Of course, I do. I know my kids. They can be trusted with anything. It’s just that I wanted to do those things for them.

I missed a lot of my kids’ childhood because I was “too busy” at my work then. Now that I have a lot of time in my hand, I want to do anything that I can to show them that “hey! I’m still here! I’ll always be here for you.”

School plays, academic competitions, sport events, name it! I missed them all because I have to work.

Isn’t it ironic? We devote so much time in our work, because we want “to provide the best for our family.” We prioritize the company that we work for over our kids. The same company who is very much willing to drop us at a snap of a finger.

While them, our kids, are just there waiting for us to have even just a little of our time.

With my kids almost all grown up, there’ll be less of those activities that I missed and maybe not enough time to make up for the lost opportunities. That is why I’ll do everything I can for now to let them know that I am here for them… for anything.

UPDATE: There seems to be a problem and some friends can’t vote because my photo won’t load properly. Please make sure you “Like” the Century Hotel page (here) , and then click this link to like our photo too. If there’s still a problem, from the main wall of the page, scroll down until you see our picture, and like it from the main page. Thanks.

Okay, so I passed on Mother’s Day and accepted the fact that being a single father doesn’t qualify me to join Mother’s Day promos.

I also said before that I really do not like Father’s Day. That still holds true at this point.

So, why am I asking you to give me this Father’s Day?

Because this Father’s Day, I saw an opportunity to fulfill the childhood wish of my son — to stay overnight in a hotel.

Shallow?

Let me put it this way, in  a separate post, I said how it would make me happy to grant that simple request, that I even entered it in a “make a wish” contest last year. Unfortunately, it didn’t win.

I can’t afford it. Just in case you want to tell me that I should just pay for it instead.

And so there’s this Father’s Day contest wherein the prize is an overnight accommodation in a hotel. PERFECT! Just the thing I needed to fulfill a wish.

I just need to upload a favorite father and son (or daughter) picture and whoever got the highest number of votes win! Easy.

But I do not like campaigning, begging, pleading, imposing and twisting arms just to get people to “Like” my photo, which is by the way how you can vote in the contest.

Then again, for my kids…

So, I uploaded this picture of me and my eldest son when he was about one or two years old. We were watching TV when my wife fancied our position and decided to capture it.

Cute, isn’t it?

Is it worth your vote then? If so, please go the Century Resort Hotel page here and like it. And then go to our picture here and like it too.

Remember, like the page (here) first and then like the picture (here), for the vote to be counted. I need all the help I can get.

Help me and my kids make happy memories. Please, give me this Father’s Day.

(By the way, just in case you’re wondering, my son is now 18 years old. Which can tell you how old the photo is now)

Just when I thought I have prepared myself to combat any intruders and other unwelcome visitors (READ: SUITORS), I overlooked the small details that really means a lot to a growing child… a growing daughter, that is.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s graduation. Of course, I am proud and happy that my daughter is graduating from elementary. She has overcome the first hurdle in her life. And a graduation is one significant moment for her… and she needs to prepare for it, physically.

The problem is, being a single father and as expected, clueless about make-up and other girly stuff, how can she prepare and look beautiful on her graduation when there’s no one around to help her?

There are no other ladies in the house, she’s the only girl and only 13! We tried to contact her cousin but she won’t be available tomorrow.

Parlors? I don’t want to take her there because I don’t want them to touch my daughter’s hair. And based on our experience, parlor workers can be very stubborn. Tell them to cut only a small portion, and expect it to cut some more.

Okay, back to the graduation. What to do now? Don’t have much women friends I can really impose upon on, I mean asked to them to go to this house, help Angel prepare and then leave. Yeah, sounds very ungrateful, I know.

Anyway, like what I told her, she doesn’t need any make up really.

I hope she won’t feel deprived if we weren’t able to work things out tomorrow.

Too long…

Too funny… or is it?

I am clueless when it comes to cars and car parts and accessories, yet I love to go car showrooms, car shows and even car accessories shops, just to look around. Everytime I do, I am amazed and amused, like a little child while looking at all the different models of cars, their bright and shiny colors, and especially those cars whose hood, sides and even the whole body, are painted with very beautiful artworks. They are like a walking art canvass.

And for the car accessories, I am surprised that there are lot that one can put in his car, and I am not just referring to the nitty-gritty, mechanical hardware stuff. Sleek and beautifully designed car mats, steering wheel covers, and those beautiful and cute little figurines with wobbly heads. Yes, I am so shallow that those little things amuse me. Maybe it is the that I do not have a car of my yet, that is why I am easily entertain by these things. Surely, being a minimalist, I may not want to put all of those in my car, when the time comes I manage to have one.

I feel though, that it may not take too long. I will be able to drive my own car, as clueless as I am about cars, I still dream of owning one someday. Which explains the trips to those car showroom and car accessories shops.

Last January, my daughter turned 13. Yes, I know. That was already two months ago. Well, it didn’t sink in on me then yet. She was still a baby then… I’d like to think that she still is.

There were apprehensions, sure. At the back of my mind, paranoia was stubbornly bugging me. I was trying my best to brush it off. How bad could it be? I mean, she was not the first teenager in the house! She was the third, actually.

But she was the only girl… and the youngest. Yes, her brothers didn’t bring me much concern when they turned 13. I refuse to be bitten by the double standards of child rearing… nothing could go wrong!

Or could it?

Then, there were screen flashes. Images of Steve Martin from the movie Father of the Bride kept on playing on my mind. Followed by Robin Williams who was so sweet and playful with a cute little girl on one scene, and then the next screen showed him fighting and arguing with the girl who’s already a teener in the person of Jojo from the movie RV (Runaway Vacation).

Paranoia?

Nah! There’s nothing to be worried about. I am on top of the situation.

First, my daughter now goes home by herself. She doesn’t want me to pick her up from school anymore. Okay, no problem. She should learn to be independent anytime soon.

Then, phone calls. Not really often, and not really as long as those we see in the movies. But they happen, whereas before, they were not non-existent.

Next, receiving a phone call or text message from her that says, “Dad, I’m in my classmate’s house. Were doing a project/practicing a dance routine for school.” “Okay, fine. Just take care of yourself.”

See! I’m in control! I am on top of the situation. NO NEED TO PANIC!

NOOOOOO!!!!!

I am being pushed out of the picture… little by little.

I promised myself that I will never be a hindrance to my children’s growth. I will let them learn, experience, discover, and enjoy life just as any growing kid should.

Can I take back that promise now?

It’s barely six months into her teen years, and already there are a lot of changes… and I sometimes want to shout…. HELP!!! I HAVE A TEENAGER FOR A DAUGHTER!!!

I had another scare as my daughter got sick last weekend, and on the occasion of her birthday even. Was observing her the whole day as she was constantly complaining of pain and irritation. At nighttime, seeing that she won’t be healed by home medication, I took her to the hospital where we were immediately met by medical personnel in scrubs who were running to and fro because of many patients in the emergency room.

Yes, we were at the emergency room as it was already eight in the evening. She was made to lie in one of the bed. While we were there waiting to be attended, we saw some medical personnel wearing white lab coats and going to some of the patients, getting some blood samples from some of the patients there.

When a doctor finally attended to my daughter, she asked some basic questions, like her temperature, how long has she been sick, medications takes, etc. Then she checked on her tonsils, and immediately said, “She has an infected tonsils. We don’t need to test her blood anymore. Her tonsils is what causing her fever. I’ll just give her antibiotic.”

I was relieved and thankful that it was not dengue, a case which has been prevalent lately. While waiting for our prescription and the bill, my daughter who was still in pain asked my if I could buy her one of those  scrub sets because she said they looked comfortable to sleep with. I smiled and said, “Yes, of course. My baby, I will.”